Life itself is a matrix for relationships. There are various types of relationships in one’s life. Relationship with parents, siblings, friends, enemies, teachers, boss, partners, neighbors and the list goes on. Success in life depends on the way we maintain these relationships. Each relationship plays an important role in different stages of our life. The manner in which we relate to our relations are not constant. It changes according to our personal development, status and mentality. At one stage our relationship with the parents are of prior importance, at another stage with the friends, at another stage with the partner and it changes at different periods in life. It is rare and difficult to maintain a constant relationship with a person throughout the life. The way we maintain our relationship makes all the difference. Some relationships we respect, some we ignore, some we pamper, some we insult, with some we take revenge and so on. Our emotions play an important role in maintaining a relationship. The experiences of the relationships form a deep impression in the mind and this leads to karma. Therefore, life is all about maintaining the relationship.
Every day we involve in various activities and we happen to relate to various types of people. Each relationship has their demands and one has to meet with that demand. The way we relate to different people changes every moment. We cannot relate to people at home in the same way we relate to people at the work place. Even in the work place we have to relate to the colleagues at different levels. With some we have to obey, with some we have to assert, with some we have to request and so on. Therefore in a day the mind has to constantly tune according to the people we relate to. If we fail to tune, the relationship also fails. This gives an extra strain to the mind. The efficiency to maintain the relationship makes all the difference. The quality of our relationships decides the quality of our life.
The basic of any relationship is a certain need. We always demand and expect from our relationships and this expectation causes all the trouble. We make friends, we marry, we have children, we make official and social relationships and so on with a single idea and expectation that these relationships will make us content and happy. When this fails the relationship also sours. In my view, any relationship will flourish when we share our happiness with others. For this one must be a content and happy person himself. Only then he can share his happiness with others. Instead, when one tries to extract happiness from others, slowly the relations try to distance themselves from us. The relationship begins to move apart. Failure in expectation of happiness results in abuse, insult, physical and mental torture, revenge and so on. In pursuit of happiness we make relationships and when we do not find contentment and happiness from others, we break with them.
If there is no sense of joy or happiness within us, we try to extract that happiness from others, and others try to extract it from us. The result is strain, confusion and tension. A person will be content only when he turns inside by meditation. If he always focuses on the worldly activities, he gets more frustrated by his experiences in the world. No one will be interested in a person who always shares his worries and problems, and shows his negative emotions on others. The people who are close to us are more defensive to us than the other people. This happens because we expect more from people who are close to us. This expectation is the main cause for failure in relationships. The way we maintain a relationship depends on our personality. A calm and serene minded person always maintains perfect relationship with everyone in spite of different situations and demands, and spirituality helps one to attain this mentality.