Self- reliant and self- respect have deep relationship and the relationship is not explicit. People who respect the self and disallow others to take advantage of them are the people who become independent in all aspects of life. Total independence means independent physically, mentally and financially. In my view, financial independence is the final decision, prior to that one must be physically and mentally independent to become a perfect self-reliant person.
Many people ignore physical and mental dependence. In fact, many are not aware of this dependence. People demand help from others thinking that it is their right to demand help from others. They forget the fact that by demanding physical help from others they are becoming dependent on others without their own knowledge. This is physical dependence. Likewise, many people are dependent on others ideas. They hesitate to take decisions of their own. In the name of consultation, they depend on others to take their decision. They depend on others advice and they fail to use their thinking capacity and they feel more comfortable with others ideas. This is mental dependence. Least importance is given for independence of thoughts. When we depend on others, the dependent person becomes weak and the helping person becomes powerful. When we become dependent, we lose our power to be self-reliant and gradually it reduces the self-respect. Being independent means it is not to ignore or disrespect others views and ideas. It means to give priority to our views and at the same time considering others views with equal respect. One must know to balance between the two.
In many homes, women are more dependent on others, especially mothers. They are dependent on other family members. They always take a back seat and they even hesitate to give their own views. They hesitate to take care of themselves. They feel that it is selfishness to care of themselves. This is a wrong notion. Only a self respecting mother can teach a child to become self- reliant. Some women allow themselves to be treated like a doormat and they blame others for their condition. It is true that some family situations cannot be avoided; however a large part lies on the ignorance of the concerned person and failing to establish the right as a human being. It is not a sacrifice to ignore ourselves. Instead, it is a sin. When we ignore ourselves, we are ignoring the divine power in us. Sacrifice is something that when we give it to others they will gain by it. When we give our self-respect, we lose it and others will not gain by it.
There must be clear priorities in life. We must know our priorities then only life becomes useful. Helping others and getting help from others are common in life and it improves our relationship with others. However, it should not leave us in the dark. If we lose our self-respect we cannot become self-reliant, this leads to frustration and depression, and at one stage we will show displeasure to the same people whom we have helped or from whom we have received help. One must realize the purpose and importance of life. Every individual is born with a definite purpose and a person who realizes this will succeed easily.